Memory

"Wonder - is not precisely Knowing." Emily Dickinson

(art by Gary Bunt)

“I am going to say three words,” the doctor told my father, who has dementia. “I want you to remember them because I will ask you what the three words are in a few minutes.” He asks my father if he understands, my father nods. “Banana,” the doctor begins, “sunrise, chair.” “What was that last word?” my father, who, despite his hearing aids, can have trouble hearing, asked. “Chair,” the doctor repeats.

I find myself repeating them in my head, lest I forget. I think about how banana sunrise sounds like the name of a mixed drink.

The doctor talks to my father for a few minutes and then asks, “Can you name the three words I told you?”

My father sits there. He looks like a child who is about to fail a test. His mind struggles to remember and it is obvious that he can recall none of the words. It’s difficult to watch.

His memory is worsening.